Becoming Your Dad started with great ambition and intention. I started the blog a couple of months before my son was to be born. The idea was to write letters to my son to read at some point in the future, chronicling my journey towards growing into a new person…becoming his dad.
The blog started off strong. And then Harrison actually came into this world.
A lot of days learning how to care for a tiny human, and accompanying sleep-deprived nights followed. I was also trying to get not one, but two, businesses off the ground – my real estate business, and my massage therapy practice, after deciding to completely break out on my own, leaving the clinic I had been working at for four years.
Those were good reasons in and of themselves, but there’s another factor, and perhaps the most important: I got writer’s block.
Specifically, I got blocked in writing in the particular format I had chosen. The truth is, becoming a dad unlocked a lot of baggage for me in how I was raised, a path I don’t care to go down in raising my own family, and that’s where much of my head space has been in that regard. Putting those thoughts in letter form to my son didn’t seem fair; it felt like I would be unloading my issues onto him.
So this blog has been, unfortunately, infrequently updated.
Meanwhile, thoughts on how I can creatively and artistically express myself in my new role as a parent has been percolating for some time – an idea revolving around a podcast about fatherhood and marriage, mixed with my love of time travel stories.
Here’s the truth, something I didn’t fully realize until a few years ago: Time travel stories (particularly the 80s/90s cult classic Quantum Leap) saved my soul when I was a kid. I was a misfit. I was constantly teased and bullied.
So I often imagined I was actually my future-self having come back to relive my childhood and observe how hard it was for me to fit in, and to assure me it would eventually get better.
I never actually believed that, but it was a great fantasy, a coping mechanism, a thought exercise.
To this day, I still often look at life a bit through the lens of being a time traveler – I’m able to go back and revisit my past with a present day perspective, and somewhere within me – sometimes more present than other times – is my future self guiding me towards being the better man, husband and dad I am to become.
And so that’s the new direction of this blog and podcast.
The podcast will be launching sometime in mid to late-August. Blogs and perhaps other video content will hopefully become more frequent.
I’ll hope you’ll join me for the ride.